This is where I would like to be relaxing today.

Look at how peaceful that beach looks. 

And then something clicked.

So I have been plodding along, half arsed really.  I am telling myself that I am eating OK and that I am getting to the gym.  That the pain from my back/Neck and up coming operation are holding me back.

I went off to my Palliates class on Sunday.  So many people rave about Palliates and I must admit I had only turned up for one class previously.   The instructor "Darren" was nothing like I had expected.  I am not really sure what I expected but just not "Darren".  Sure he is urber fit but he was well blokey with a bit of surfer and Zen all thrown in together.

When I went last time.  I was at the start of my 12 week challenge and was just focused on burning calories and Palliates isn't a calorie burner.  I love the class! its an amazing stretch & balancing class for your body.  So I thought "What have a got to loose?"  Its good for my back blah blah blah and truth be told, I just can't push myself at the moment and have probably been "Too kind" for a while because when I push myself my body throws such a tantrum that even with the slightest niggle now, I just can't do it.

My class went well.  So many moves I couldn't do others surprised me that my flexibility came out of now where but what surprised me the most. Was, well he was so caring and got off the stage and showed me different moves to do to help me and actually listened to me when I explained how feed up I am with this pain.

Well he went all Zen on me and told me that only I am holding myself back.  I didn't get it a first.  I was angry to be honest.  Here was this urber fit, cricket playing, football loving guy telling me that I am holding myself back!.  He has no idea what I am going through!

But it was true;  While I am searching for answers to my back problems - I have lost focus of my goals and what good I have already done.  I have become so hard on myself that I am "Holding myself back".

So we sat for 30 mins or so going through setting up my goals again.  Talking about other exercises I should try. Because clearly the ones I am doing now are not working or are stopping me from getting better.  Lots of positive talk needs to go back into my head.  As a women we are so busy peeping up our children, partners and friends etc and forgetting to focus on what we have done good today.

He wants me to see his back crunching guy (eek!) more money. However, he swears that this guy has some kind of ability to know just what needs to be done and how long it will take.  What have I got to loose?

So I came home and felt all emotional after our conversation.  He was right,  even thought I thought I had been very positive during this year and during my weight loss things have slipped with that taking my goals away.  The challenges are new ones like getting through my operation, Christmas and staying on track for next year.  So far we agreed that my long term goal is 57kgs by the 23rd June 2011.  That will be my 42nd birthday.  It seems so achievable.  nearly 7 months to loose 20 kilos.  Too easy!  Well it is when I break it down to little mountains and not that big one that I keep slipping off for the past few months.

I am still around 77.5kgs.   Been stuck there for a while now.  Today I am OK with it.  Yesterday was a different story but I can't go back to yesterday and change things.  So I will do well today to make tomorrow easier.

77.2kgs

Stuck at home again today with my little guy being sick.  Going to try and keep as busy and moving as possible and hopefully get to gym tonight.  I feel positive about staying back on track and eating healthy today!

So today I will leave you with a great blog that I found yesterday.  Go and have a look at her "Before & After" section.  Love all the photos as well. http://ohsheglows.com/about/

Enjoy!

The last 10 days.

Boy time sure does fly quickly when its nearly the end of the year.

What has been happening in my life.

• My weight has been bouncing between 77.5 & 78.2kgs
• Struggling to enjoying exercise without my back or neck playing up.
• Booked in for an operation next Thursday to have my tumour removed & bit of a service & tune up while they are there.
• Been stuck home due to sick child and other family commitments and for the first time felt quiet peeved that it had interrupted with my "Me" time.  Usually I can juggle something.
• Bought a new bed to help my back and hated it the first night I slept on it.  Now I'm liking it not sure if I would say "I'm in love with it", just yet!
• Found out that after my operation that I can not do any strenuous exercise for at least 4 weeks.
• Been a bit sloppy filling out my food diary.
• Been off the wagon and got back on several times this week. 
• Feeling stuck
• Feeling happy
• Feeling sore

So that basically that's been my last 10 days.

I am frustrated like you would not believe because of the pain in my back and neck has returned 100 fold. I am over it, and after my operation if they have not found anything, that might be the cause of the pain while I am having my service and turn up,  then I will be going to have every kind of scan and follow through with that  once I have recovered.  That is going to be my next priority is to get rid of this pain.

My weight is going up rather than down.  Funny, I go away on holidays and don't weigh myself for 2 weeks.  Ate, drank and did no gym and I only gained 1 kg.  Now I am up 2 kilos and I am trying to eat well. 

So today I decided to get an idea of how many calories I burn in a day.  So I have kept my heart monitor on since 8 am - It is now 8pm.  So according to Michelle Bridges for my height and age.  I would burn around 1580 calories per day - So basically that is what my body needs per day to survive any more calories over that would turn into fat..   I have always followed a 1300 calorie diet and trying to burn around 500+ calories at the gym.

OK So at 8pm my heart monitor is telling me that I have burnt 2898 calories in a 12 hour period + 900 calories at the gym.  So in 12 hours I have burnt 3791 in 12 hours.  So I am confused how I am not loosing more weight if I am only eating 1300 calories but burning probably double the "normal" daily amount.

So I am off to seek some answers from Dr Google.

Hopefully, tomorrow I will be lighter.

Getting back into the swing of this weight loss thing!

I have had a few hic-ups, getting my groove back for eating and exercising since coming back from Queensland. I will be totally honest and say that I haven't even filled out my daily food diary once in the 8 days (well today's I have). 

There have been a lot of factors from having my monthly girlie's, to just being busy, public holiday and a child home from school  So I will be kind and just say "Oh well these things happen". 

I didn't suddenly put on another 5kilos from not hitting the gym every day.  I have indulge just about ever day with something naughty like a mini or even a full size choc Magnum ice cream.  You know the yummy ones with almonds on the outside haha!.

I have struggled with pain again this week so much so that its has really made me feel really really down.  The pain is coming from my lower back and right hip.  My thigh muscles seize up like I am posing for a body building comp or something.  Sadly know one can tell me why it is happening.

As to that since coming home I have been having dizzy spells and heart palpitations.  Scary stuff!  So I did a bit of Dr googling and found that a lack of magnesium can be the cause of my problems and lack of magnesium can also effect your sleep.  Gosh I thought I could tick all the boxes of problems. 

So I headed off to my local health food store for some quality magnesium.  Before I knew it I was pouring out all my medical complaints to the poor man behind the counter lol.  He told me "Maybe I should have stayed in Queensland".  Yes, well I would have gladly.

So I have dosed up on some high quality magnesium woke this morning with a stunning migraine headache. I think its probably hay fever or sinus.   So then I loaded up on Nurophen and that didnt get rid of my headache so I went the Nurophen with Codeine.    So I had a lovely nearly pain free work out today and I feel invigorated and pumped to go again.

Something about a lovely sunny day a good workout and eating well helps me set my goals again and get my head in the right place.

It is roughly 7 weeks until Christmas and while I didn't really want to use Christmas as a goal.  I am going to have to.

I am going to set a pretty tough goal for me because I am currently 77.6kilos and I want to be under 70 by Christmas day.  Roughly 8kilos in less than 8 weeks.     I can do it - Ive done it before.

I know what your thinking but there is all of these Holiday parties leading up to the Festive period. Phewft I can do it.  Just need to limit my time with certain friends who indulge.

I love that I went away for 2 weeks - Enjoyed myself, made good food choices when I could and eat off the programme and only put on a little bit over a kilo.

I do also wonder that maybe with the amount of training (1000 cal burn) at the gym that maybe I wasn't eating enough!    A part of me is thinking of joining Weight Watchers simple because their programme is real food options.  Then again I have limited funds so maybe I might borrow some of the points books off a friend.


My yummy lunch today.  At around 250 cals.  Red salmon and Salad with pumpkin and avocado.  There was meant to be asparagus as well but I thought I would try steaming them in the microwave and lets just say after 2mins they were some, what over cooked. 

So today I weighed 76.6kgs  with 7 weeks (from this Sunday to Xmas) that is my new goal.  Who wants to join me.