Obsessing & struggling with foods.

I have been really really hungry the past few days.  I am not sure if its due to boredom or that while I am still doing a reasonable amount of exercise its not enough to put me into a hungry coma  from being so exhausted that I don't have enough energy to think about eating.

Yesterday I did 1000 calories at the gym - I felt back on top of the world. I love that feeling. I didn't go out to even do more than 300 calories. I had even thought about not going as I was pretty exhausted and didnt want to put any more stress on my injuries.

A friend stopped and chatted with me for nearly 20mins while I was on the treadmill and I just kept upping the incline and before I knew it I had burnt over 300 cals. BUT I was so bloody hungry and grumpy.  I am fine for lunch, even afternoon but come dinner time If I don't eat pure protein like steak, chicken and veggies I feel like I havent eaten in months.

I made a home made pita pizza with ham and loads of salad goodies. It didn't feel like it even hit the side of my down sized tummy.   I went to the shopping centre after dinner and found myself standing outside of the sushi bar and a small skinny latte later and I felt slightly better.    I ended up eating cr

Followed by my little guy having gastro and getting very little sleep.  I stuck to bread carbs today simply because I was worried if I ended up with gastro that I didnt want to puke up my ceral as its the only one in 41 year that I enjoy.

I need to be more careful with my foods.  I am getting alot of picking and crap in without realise I am doing it.

I did weigh myself in my sleepiness this morning and after breakfast plus two cups of tea and found that I weighed in even lighter.  78kgs straight.  Of course now I am obsessing about what I might have weighed this morning if I hadn't eaten crap.  Then again I probably wouldn't have slept either because I was hungry.

So today I went for a walk and was really over the moon when I walked up a huge hill on my main road, a road that I have hardly ever walked in the 13 years we have lived here because simply to me it was an asthma attack waiting to happen.  The times I have dared myself to walk it, I have had to stop at least 3 times and the walk has taken over 40mins just to get up this hill.

Well I felt so good walking up this hill that I could have nearly jogged it. But I honestly didn't want to do that in fear of that crazy person who did think it funny to yell out from their car the last time I attempted this hill to call out and tell me " You need to move faster to get your fat arse moving".  Yes someone did that to me and that had emotional scared me for however long.  I am not sure if it was before having my son or after.

Today I was prepared with an I.pod blasting so I have no idea if I had a cheer squad or not.  I did however want to cheer a couple of older guys that were riding their bikes up this hill.  I was like I am going to do that one day. Hopefully I will achieve that goal soon.

I was really surprised that walking up this hill had my heart rate up around 140 and even 160 at one stage.  That is awesome and I will be doing this walk more often on my "Off Gym days".

So tonight I needed to relax and get this need to eat crap out and over.   I allowed myself two alcohol drinks (that's all I needed) and a large pack of my addiction "Red Rocks Deli rice chips" with 500 Cals for a huge pack - I am glad I burnt 600 calories on my walk today.